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The Okayness of Absence: Coming and Going Without Apologies

You're likely going to say it anyway: it's okay, LM, we're all busy. It's okay you haven't added content in what feels like forever to you. No need to feel bad.

So even though I know you will forgive me for being gone for so long, because I am a recovering perfectionist and survivor of people-pleasing, I still want to explain.

Life has been busy. And hard. Real and messy. I have so many projects simmering on the stove - waiting for my executive functioning skills to catch up with my ambition and good intentions - that I've become frozen in shame for not updating The I'm Okay Collective in so long.

While talking with a peer today (in my job) about our shared experience of struggling with motivation and shame spiraling over not getting tasks and projects done, we realized that the biggest barrier was just getting started. We both agreed that we could Do the Thing once we Showed Up to the Thing.

Can you relate?

Do you apologize for your life being busy? Maybe you're not busy; maybe you're TIRED. OVERWHELMED.

Maybe you'd really like time-out and some Oreo cookies.

So I'm showing up, my friends. I'm showing up trying not to apologize too much, trying to remember that life gets hard and messy and projects get interrupted.


I can Show Up. I can show you that I'm Showing Up and look at me, here we go! I'm adding content!

And in the true fashion and spirit of The I'm Okay Collective, I'm showing up real, vulnerable, messy.

And that is all Okay. I can come and go as our life tides shift and so can you. And when we meet each other at the next intersection, it will be that much sweeter.

What permission can you grant yourself?

Where are you coming and going in a shame-based way? Might you need to just Show Up as you are and not overthink expectations and agendas?

Thank you for crossing my path this day. It is always nice to see you and be seen.

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Oh my goodness Lisa Marie…I feel this to my very core. Did you secretly listen in on one of my conversations today? Almost word for word ‘I’m not busy. I’m so very tired and overwhelmed. Frozen with overwhelm most days’.

I could go for some Ian’s Pizza and gelato or custard. I think that’s going to be on a to-do list in the very near future.

Granting myself permission to feel all of the feelings hitting me without being sorry. My house will be clean. Someday. Maybe not to my standards today. Being ok in the moment and letting myself where I’m at.

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